I consider my interactions with other people to be a little peculiar. I am friendly to a lot of people, and I want to see the best in other people. However there are only a handful of people that I think I am close to.
The few people that I think I am close to are the ones that know me the most, of course. They are the ones that know what I struggle with. They are the ones that still stay by me, even though I may lose my head a little bit. I feel like I’m not always consistent in my relationships with others.
I was trying to forget her when I left. I wanted to start a blank canvas. But then she texted me that one time asking how was I doing. I was ashamed. I admit it. She said I was important to her, and we should not lose contact. In that moment I thought, how shameful it was that I was thinking otherwise. Shame, for wanting to forget great memories. Shame, for wanting to lose the support I had gained before. Shame, for almost breaking a promise.
How prideful I thought myself to be! I wanted something different out of that relationship with her, but my naivety and inexperience at the time clouded my senses for a basic friendship. I still could have had someone to talk to, because that’s what good friends do. Good human interaction is to stay in contact with the other person in a variety of ways.