“Keep it simple man!” I would say to a few guys with regards to dating. It is a very common occurence that guys will get carried away with what a girl may be thinking or behaving. Those guys then stress, worry, and unhinge so much, that they furthermore go off complaining negatively. It has been a while, but I remember that I have learned that negativity is not very good for someone. Back to the mantra, “Keep it simple!”, it is meant to help me and other guys realize that guys can’t have dating be so complicated. Making dating too complicated turns unhealthy really quick.
The modern culture of dating is a weird one. From my observation, dating seems to be a very formal event where high expectations are set for the participants. It puzzles me at how formal dating is taken. There are a lot of assumptions made regularly. I’ll confess, I make assumptions a lot too! Hopefully, now I do not assume as much as I did before.
Outings should happen regularly, frequency being determined by the individual. But regular formal dates to a new girl might seem like a lot. There is a regular wall that almost seems insurmountable. For this reason, I haven’t been out on much dates, I’ll admit. My frequency is about once a month. However, I would like to go out more. I want to meet new girls, or talk with the ones I do know. But I come across an issue where frequent formal dates seems to be a stress as I previously mentioned. I may lack confidence, a lack ideas for dates, or there just isn’t enough face to face contact.
What if there was some activity that encouraged a guy to be with a girl informally? What if the expectations were low, that the only thing to expect was to talk? What if things were informal, that a dude doesn’t have to worry about being formal because being formal just doesn’t seem to work? What if there was an activity just for the sake of having an activity?
So I thought about it. There was an idea about going out for treats or something similar. A friend suggested it too. It seemed like a good idea, but I was not convinced. I was chatting with another individual, and he suggested what I was thinking. Just go out for a hot chocolate or smoothie. Just do a low key activity, so that it gives an opportunity to be one on one with a girl. This individual also agreed with me that at least going out on activities would be the better than nothing.
So then it dawned on me. Do more of this low-key one on one activities in order to warm up to a formal date! It all connected. Allow dates to keep their formality, but do something informal before the formal! Then something informal could allow for more activities to be done regularly. This seems like it could encourage a friendship to be more simple! I believe that the easier, simpler, and comprehensible steps done in a friendship can strengthen and create friendships, while also giving the possibility for advancing one!
Hopefully for my guy mind, I am still keeping it simple. There are too many complicated experiences. And yet, I shouldn’t dissapprove those experiences too soon. That’s what life is about, learning and changing things. Just keep learning and changing, so that simplicity becomes apparent within a changing culture. Then a healthier lifestyle can be lived for a happier life.